Friday, January 23, 2009




It feels like a spiralling caught in the matrix of here and now and then and before. Of yesterdays all still tied up with today.






Like endless loops created and knots all tied together and looping back and forth in and out from each other to the next, all within the same line, the same context, all interconnected yet all so seemingly far apart. Though there is no distance no space and time, all that exists here inside me is this idea, these ideas I’ve had for so long. Been following me from lifetime to lifetime.






From the very first one,way back when, oh so far away, yet at night in my dreams, still here now. These things follow me as if haunting yet I know they are friend not foe. They are ally, even as ghosts. Secretly watching me and waiting for the right time, to plant a seed, to facilitate a niggling remembrance. “I know this, I’ve been here. I know this.”






All this, though it seems so scattered so willy nilly and helter-skelter, is fresh in my mind, like racetracks through time, bringing me closer to the answers I have sought. These days and now these nights -- how can one ever be sure which is which? -- awake and dreaming or asleep and remembering, dead and looking back on one’s life, on so many lives.






This dreamscape and the characters in it the creatures great and small, all living within this one tiny particle, this one iota of something so large -- so infinite, it is without words.